TAKAICHI DEFEATS KOIZUMI TO BECOME JAPAN'S FIRST FEMALE PRIME MINISTER

"Bedroom eyes" vs "beady and malevolent dots"

Wounded by a bruising spamming scandal, Shinjiro Koizumi has failed in his attempt to become Japan's "first good-looking Prime Minister," losing to Sanae Takaichi, a gargoyle-faced harridan with ultranationalist tendencies.

It looked promising for Koizumi in the first round of the leadership contest for the ruling Liberal Democrat Party (LDP), held following the resignation 0f outgoing PM Shigeru Ishiba. The good-looking Agriculture, Forestry, and Fisheries Minister with "bedroom eyes" got 164 votes from the electoral college to Takaichi's 183. 

With votes from the eliminated candidates to play for, it should have been possible for Koizumi to win through, especially as his opponent's eyes can best be described as "beady and malevolent." However, thanks no doubt in part to the spamming scandal, Koizumi was finally edged out by Takaichi, who now becomes Japan's first female PM.

With her weird mix of woke "first woman PM" vibes and ultranationalist leanings, Takaichi also represents the growing contradictions of an aging Japanese society, increasingly dependent on foreign labour but culturally and emotionally resistant to it.

Takaichi, however, maintains the long-held tradition of Japanese Prime Ministers being less than easy on the eyes.

Takaichi is the latest in a long line of "aesthetically-challenged" premiers

With the LDP picking a leader who appeals more to party members than the general public, there is also a risk of the country heading into an early election. This is because the LDP is a minority government in both houses. The other parties may thus try to capitalise on Takaichi's limited likability by forcing an early general election in the lower house to boost their own representation.

If this plays out, this could then result in Japanese politics moving into a period by unstable coalition politics, instead of the one-party domination by the LDP that has been the norm for most of the post-war period.